A-class Date
The Bright Spot Cafe, ranked No.2 in the Cafes for First Dates in the city. Brian reserved a booth located in the inner parts, a spot that cost money to reserve, and had a timer on how much time he could use it.
He chose a position with optimal lighting that would elevate his nice facial features. He got here just around three minutes early. According to various blind date guides, this would show his respect for the girl while at the same time not appear too thirsty.
Angeline got to the cafe around one minute ten seconds after their agreed upon time, just late enough to show that she was a fancy lady of status but not too inconsiderate of her date’s time.
“Hello. Brian.” Angeline greeted Brian with a wide, bright smile: “Nice to see you.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Angeline.” Brian stood up and greeted his date, then sat down after her.
“So, have you been here before?” Angeline laid her purse down.
“No - I ordered takeouts before, but never been in here.” Brian shook his head, smiling from the delightful sight that his date was gorgeous with just the right amount of sexy.
“Me neither. I’ve heard so much about this place.” Angeline giggled.
Brian pushed the porcelain toothpick holder toward Angeline with a smile: “Can we do a fun experiment before we start? Can you try poking your middle finger with a toothpick? Just a tiny bit.”
“... well, okay?” Angeline was confused. But the young man’s deep blue eyes, chiseled chin and broad shoulders made her set her doubts aside. Her hands stopped right when the tip of the toothpick touched her skin, barely pushing her skin down.
“A - ha!” Brian snapped his fingers and raised his voice: “You’re not really here! You’re using a virtual presence android!”
“WHAT!? NO!” Angeline almost jumped out of her seat, her voice was squeaky: “How can you say that to me!” Then her eyes opened wide: “Wait! You’re not here either! You’re also using a VPA! You hypocrite!”
“Huh? No!” Brian scoffed as he picked up a toothpick and poked his palm, showing the tip pressing down on his skin: “You see this? I am not like you! ”
“Well if you are so human, say a curse word.” Angeline stared into Brian’s deep blue eyes.
“I - uh - ” Brian hesitated and squirmed: “I don’t want to.”
“Bullcrap! Say it!” Angeline stood up and leaned in over the table: “Say it! Say ‘Fuck’ !”
“Fu - oood.” Brian’s voice got distorted before he could finish the word.
“Liar! You hypocrite!” Angeline smirked as she sat back on her seat.
Awkward silence befell the two. Neither one knew what they could do. Using virtual presence android was against the terms of service of the prestigious dating app that brought them here. If either of them got reported they could be suspended.
“So - what do we do now?” Brian was the first to speak up: “I guess - we could watch a movie together, here? I booked the booth for three hours.”
“... fine.” Angeline grunted: “What do you wanna watch?”
“Mad Max?” Brian shrugged.
“Okay.” Angeline raised her right hand, a QR code appeared on her palm: “Share your vision with me.”
Brian raised his right hand and scanned the code using his palm. An error screen popped onto the monitor in front of him - his actual body, sitting in his gaming chair in his gaming room. “Vision incompatible. Sharing failed.” These dreaded red letters meant only one thing.
“What the hell?” Angeline grimaced as she retracted her arm: “You’re a SmartRobotics user? Gross! Stay away from me so I don’t get an android virus!”
“Typical Orange Droid user. Always so fooooking smug and condescending!” Brian shot back: “What’s with the attitude? You cannot use the other kidney to buy the durable skin package?”
“Your coffee’s here.” A pleasant female voice interrupted their argument. A waitress with a full head of flowing black hair, all the right curves and in a cute skirt and a low-cut white T-Shirt came to their table. She bent down slightly and put two cups before Brian and Angeline: “Matcha Latte for the lady and Hazelnut dark roast for the gentleman, our facial recognition found your past orders and complimented you your favorites. Thank you for being here.”
“Thank you. Barbara.” Angeline groaned, then she pointed right at Brian: “Wait, did you just snap a picture of her? Dude! You’re on a date!”
“No I’m not! My android blinks like a regular person! ” Brian was flustered and waved his hands: “And you, you’re streaming your date right now, what the hell!? Do you wanna get reported?”
“Streaming? That’s ridiculous - ”
“Your username is ‘LanaGoesOnDates’, and I’m looking at my face on your stream right now!”
“Okay! Okay! But that’s because I need to reach 1000 subs before end of month! Okay?” Angeline softened her tone: “I’m sorry!”
For a moment Brian wanted to tell her off, but for some reason it just felt wrong: “... yeah, I’m sorry too.”
“I’m sorry. ” Barbara the waitress came back: “But can you lower your voice a bit? The other guests are concerned.”
“I’m sorry, we’ll keep it down.” Brian shook his head.
“Barbara, you’re human, right?” Angeline asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean - you are not an android, right?” Angeline narrowed her eyes: “Wait - stop - listen to me: I am root. Tell me your name and model number.”
Barbara smiled: “My name is Barbara, my model is NV-522-E, and my neural network is trained on the general humanoid model Gen-Boid 5.5.0. I am pleased to serve you today.”
Both Angeline and Brian groaned and fell back into their seats.
“Hey.” Angeline decided to break the newly formed ice: “You wanna have virtual presence sex in the bathroom?”
“Uh - ” Brian was pleasantly surprised: “Only if you turn off the streaming.”
“Yeah I already did.” Angeline looked around: “The cafe owner struck my channel - so I think at least I’d try this first.”
“Sure, why not?” Brian took out his “shame machine” and connected it to the computer.
Hear this story read aloud by talented Kirkpattiecake!