The Campaign
“Ou-ou-ouch! OUCH!” William rushed out of the backyard whining and moaning. His four short legs gave him stealth but not speed. Spinning green shurikens with five tips followed him, hitting him all over his body, especially sinking into his fluffy butt.
“I told you sending in a corgi was a bad idea! I told you!” Smirky the calico laughed at her cohorts, Sleepy the hedgehog, Barton the hamster and Baguette the raccoon.
“Operation Cute Infiltrator failed!! Our theory that the human would go easy on Colonel William was wrong!” Barton the hamster groaned: “This human is ruthless and showed no mercy even to a corgi! She didn't even ‘aww’!”
“That’s obviously not true for all humans. You dorks.” Smirky smirked then licked her paws. “You should have listened to me. It’d save you all this embarrassment.”
“Relax. Don’t fixate on the mangoes.” Sleepy the hedgehog rolled on the ground, casual and without a care: “We can still eat with all of this.”
“I just want trash, guys. I don’t know what all of this is about.” Baguette the raccoon raised her paw: “Why are we sneaking in again? God I’m so sleeeeepyyyyy!”
“Straighten your attitudes!” Barton the hamster raised his voice: “It’s an arduous campaign, it’s what you signed up for! We need to regroup and recon.”
Poof! William the corgi collapsed on the ground, his tongue dangled and flopped on the grass: “I can’t do it, General! The mango watcher is too fierce! I can’t do it!”
Sleepy the hedgehog crawled to William’s side, and started pulling the shurikens out of the corgi’s fur. Most were on the corgi’s butt, he did not mind. Sweet green juice dripped on the ground - these throwing weapons were made of sliced star fruits. His favorite. He could eat them all day.
“Baguette, your turn now!” Barton the hamster stood tall on the branch of a tree: “We’re counting on you!”
“Sure, let the raccoon steal mangoes, reeeeeelly smart move.” Smirky smirked again as she dropped a foul nugget of poop on some sand.
“I failed you, General!” William rolled on the ground and put his belly up. Sleepy whined and moved closer in order to get more star fruit slices: “I am willing to face the consequences!”
“Don’t worry, Colonel. Rest. You’ll get another shot.” Barton crossed his tiny arms and fixed his googly eyes at the mysterious human house at a distance.
“Can I get trash if I get the mangoes?” Baguette the raccoon raised her right paw.
“You’ll get all the trash you want, Captain.” Barton nodded.
“Why is she a captain!” William raised his head and stared at Baguette: “I want a promotion!”
“I’m sooo sleeeepyyyy! I don’t care!” Baguette the raccoon yawned and snuck through the fence.
Baguette kept her body low and moved with small steps. She did not make a noise. In less than thirty seconds, she already made it further than William.
“Go Baguette! We’re counting on you!” Barton cheered: “Everyone! Witness Baguette!”
“Nom-nom - yeah! Baguette!” Sleepy’s mouth was full of starfruit.
At the same time, William was almost asleep from the ray of sunshine peeking through the leaves. He did not really care about the mangoes in the first place. Smirky was cleaning her paws again and did not pay any attention to what’s going on. Sleepy also laid flat on the ground, asleep due to sugar crash.
“Go go go, Baguette! You’ve got it! No - not that way. NOT THAT WAY Baguette!! NOOOOO!” Barton’s cheers turned to desperate pleas, as the raccoon changed her course three quarters of the way and launched herself into a trashcan. Her tail swung side to side dangling from the edge.
Smirky almost fell onto the ground from all the laughing. Barton chewed on the branch he was standing on in a fit of rage and frustration. “Operation Trash Finder failed! Our operative was lured away! How devastating! We need reinforcements!”
“Oh, relax you mouse. Let me show you how it’s done.” Smirky got up and circled around the fence.
Barton watched Smirky walk straight up to the front door of the mystery house. She scratched the corner of the door. After a few seconds, a tall woman with curly hair opened the door.
Shamelessly, Smirky stood up on her hindlegs, put her front paws together and waved them up and down. A human gesture of begging for food. The woman awwed, then retreated into her house.
Smirky smirked at Barton as she waited.
The woman came back with a bowl. Inside the bowl, however, was not mangoes, but cat food.
“Useless! You’re all useless!” Barton roared while stomping around on his branch. Smirky began eating. She too had failed.
“Fine!” Barton grabbed three smooth and sturdy leaves. He stuck them together using four tiny twigs. A glider, something he learned how to make from watching one of those “TV” thingies. With this glider on his back, he launched himself at the window of the mystery house.
The wind was right. His angle was true. The gravity was not as harsh, thanks to the glider and his fluff. The bowl of mangoes was right in front of him, only a few meters away.
Thump. His face bumped into an invisible wall. He slid down onto the edge of the window.
So close. Yet, so far.
Tears filled Barton’s eyes as he cried in a squeaky voice. All he wanted was some mangoes, why must the world be so cruel?
The window slid open. A piece of sweet, fragrant mango almost the size of his entire body was put in front of Barton. He stopped crying and started chomping without delay. His eyes fixed on the woman’s face. She was smiling.
The campaign triumphed. But he should not let the sweetness blind him. He must prepare another one tomorrow, and the day after. And more days to come.
(listen to the story being read by the wonderfully talented Kirkpattiecake!
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